Person goes to middle-aged first love, girl says that I am abnormal( go up)

Person goes to middle-aged

AfghanH, my good friend. I and he do not shine frequently normally surface, but maintain telephone to contact. That day in the afternoon, in beer little house, we meet as agreed upon, carry out rare once promotes knee length to talk.

I come straightH: " time is really rapid! The birthday wine of 50 years old has been drunk , the very good time of life has been also rubed a most. I want to ask that marriage does not become , has life had to drive off strong love record? "

AfghanHSpeak without reservation1992Year11Month, I when in the same month one" youth newspaper"( in Shanghai in) Feng see that there is middle school student to seek for the news of delivering friend. Relative to our acting person, they are open generations. And we look traditional and have enclosed , have not thought of at all to jump out of class , step school door, it is lateral to make friends , those friends that do not know. For this, I have a kind of fresh feeling. That is said, it has attracted me , accords with my character demand: It is extrovert, open , delivers friend. I have written two letters through night. Send out to sink how long, have receivedZThe letter inYThe letterYThe letter of Miss isHMiss, announcingHMiss. However,H Miss has not repliedYThe letter of Miss. PossibilityHIt is comeYMiss seems to findHMiss has returnedHMiss has begun mail association. Use the words ofYMiss. What she now reads is the sanitary class

" afterwards?

AfghanHThe words that take me say: " the thorough contacted with along with feelings, I discover that I like this girl. At last, when my soul depths, have broken out a unprecedented revolution. Conscience discovery, Gui depend on humanity. The only two youthful influences of young girl make me discover suddenly, the real needs of person ' love! ' no matter this kind of love is to do it with purpose, or treating with process, person returns the genuine passageway that goes back to nature , is a kind of alive fresh feelings intercourse. Examine oneself in our acting person , a little fear after the event really, especially me. We - - I, have so hold in political personality mould , and is taking pursuing some centralization of state power as a kind of ideal and lofty extent reached. May the psychology of " little can't bear confuse big plan " comes to contain own natural natural instinct , so make own soul unceasing pathological change and poison melt , so that fall to enter arrive to have no the extent that may be saved. There are also such many prooves in history. I dare assert , any a person, especially those persons of centralization of state power, once having taken paramount throne, he can only bring infinite disaster to his people. In last century, 3 is big to rob difficult arch-criminal: Stalin: Hope to rein specially , Mao Zedong, it is the highly political personality overwhelming shelf of natural person and is completely abnormal and typical. Using Stalin's is the person of the Communist Party in words , is also made with special material. What is special material? Steel is also! The attribute of steel is cold and hard. Like the soul of a person has become steel, if he is a nobody, that still has yet may original, if he if a monarch faces the leader of the people of 10 thousand, so, his people can only be the wildernesses trampled upon ruthlessly by cruelness. Coincidently, this 3 arch-criminals that I say subordinate a idea system: Communism. Real is make person tooth is cold- - - - -Make one not cold Today, when communism will be buried at last by world people, my biggest ideological gains are , I have said at last that so, a sentence can only belong to the words of me: ' the person of all abnormal personality can not with matter politics. Include my self. ' "

I can't help to say: " I have understood! Remember 93 years, when your middle-aged life takes place , you have published " a middle-aged declaration ". Its birth signifies you have given up your political personality - - a kind of system of centralization of state power since then take off devoted bosom, think that is successful and going the plan of being engaged in political adventure , abandonment biggest reason thinks let contain self the serious illness whose normal person becomes abnormal personality eliminates step by step. I remember that you claim in" middle-aged declaration": ' want thought , do not want politics; Want truth , do not want right stick; Want lover , do not want wife. ' "'

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Sex is the

93 years, is though the times symbol of century, but it marks the beginning of my middle-aged course , my personality feature is also established epochally in that one year: Ideological personality. From this, have replaced me from childhood times is taking entire raw words environment as common feature so can not choice , is gone up by dozen it brand, and the self reinforcement that begins in my juvenile times, go to youth times, the political personality of my conscious transformation. When this, I may be this kind of political personality with a sentence with the words of negative double color and criticism , am actually also a kind of our acting person , include our parents for generation as well as their last generation shares the basket that has together to belong to a certain "savior" by the state enslaved. So, the transformation that I watch for own career is actually also the arrangement of genuine freedom and the liberation of one self personality.

I think: Person is- - - -Its final natural end: Death can not put- - - -Its life process and its body occur change and split constantly Stand to come on natural stand to see person, it is its traitor; If stand to come on the stand of person to see person , that again can say that person is natural revolutionary. However, this kind of revolution when is that complete tragedy has melted in general and on end station. Have only local process, just is a kind of straight drama is pregnant simultaneously the effect of drama. What is the revolutionary meaning of person for nature? A speech so as cover: Technology. As! Technology. So, I say person is a kind of have other other natural animal , in essential aspect is it only is also besides a natural animal, it is still a technical animal.

Person how get a kind of have changed its a first attribute thoroughly by technology, so make this technology become a kind of hereditary gene generation according to legend , accompany it to transport heavy cross forever subsist go down? That is its destruction that, because of overpopulation, can turn the ethnic group that threat goes to. So, it harms appearance right in two to take it , is light to have no way out , turn resolutely 180 degrees: Since giving birth to , control own unprincipled reproduction ability. At the same time, it has discovered for the first time self breed pleasant sensation can be changed to become a kind of new life form , this is sexual to get. From is , I say , sex is person for nature the beginning of betraying - - as breed utility control, make it become person to begin to get rid of nature for it entire process; From livelihood, go to dead arrangement , the technology of breakthrough starts Start. : Sex is